Five Things That Severus Snape Wish Never Happened
by Archaic Angel
Summary: Five drabbles that all revolve around everyone's favorite Potions Master, Severus Snape.


Five Things That Severus Snape Wish Never Happened 

by Archaic Angel

**Summary: **Five drabbles that all revolve around everyone's favorite Potions Master, Severus Snape.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nothing at all.

**A/N: **A little note about the dates, 1. takes place during Snape's fifth year 2. during Harry's first, 3. during Harry's sixth year 4. sometime between Snape and Trelawney became teachers and Harry's sixth year 5. takes place during Snape's first year.

**1. **

He was sitting, all alone in a compartment in the very back of the Hogwarts Express. It was by choice, he had friends but he hated riding the train with them. Severus could never match the wild tales they told of their summer vacations, and he never had any new robes or pets or anything to show off. He was much better off sitting alone.

The thing about sitting alone, though, is that there is always room for others to join in.

"Snivellus," James Potter said in the faintest of voices. "Snivellus,"

Severus turned to face them, getting out his wand and drawing it in case he would need to defend himself against Potter and his three friends. Peter was watching, enthralled while Remus looked on with indifference.

"You can put that down, Snivelly," he smirked, sitting down right next to him in the compartment. "Everywhere else is full,"

_Levicorpus! _Severus thought, pointing his want at James.

"You git," Sirius yelled in outrage as Potter soared to the ceiling, pulling his wand from his robes in response. "You're going to pay for that, _Densaugeo_,"

"_Incarcerous_," Severus countered as his teeth grew to a large size, distorting the spell and it's intended effect. Instead of ropes binding Sirius, it caused his hair to stick straight out on all sides. This made him look like he had a puffskein living on his head.

"What did you do to me?" Sirius gave a cry of agony, hands flying to his head in a desperate attempt to flatten it. While Sirius was panicking, James, who was still hanging upside down, pointed at Severus's teeth and was laughing.

"Snivellus looks like a beaver,"

"He does," Peter piped in, withdrawing his own wand. "_Mutatio Lepus_," he laughed as Severus shrunk and changed into an animal.

"Peter, that's the wrong incantation for a beaver," Remus warned. "That will turn him into-"

"Ha!" James cried out triumphantly. "Peter turned Snivellus into a bunny!"

Everyone laughed, except Severus who was a rabbit and didn't have the vocal chords for speech. Even if he did he would have been hurling every curse he knew at Peter Pettigrew, most certainly not laughing.

**2.**

"I wonder why Professor Snape was so horrid to you, Harry?" Ron wondered out loud in the Gryffindor common room. "You haven't done anything to him,"

"I have no idea," Harry replied, bent over the essay that Snape had assigned to them.

"And that's not even the weirdest thing about him," Ron added as he crossed out a word on his essay and replaced it with another.

"Then what is the weirdest thing?"

"His nose, it's practically a beak," Ron exclaimed. "How does a nose get that big?"

"Pinocchio," Harry stated.

"What?"

"It's like Pinocchio," Harry explained. "It's a Muggle fairy tale, whenever Pinocchio tells a lie his nose gets bigger. With Snape whenever he is mean to a student his nose gets bigger,"

"The way he's mean to you by the end of the year he wont be able to fit into the dungeons," Ron said with a snort.

"That would almost make me want him to be horrid to us,"

"Me too,"

Ron and Harry grinned at each other before returning to their essays.

**3.**

"Fred and George are geniuses," Ron proclaimed, laying down a card. "This is bloody brilliant,"

"I don't think I've ever had more fun playing a game before," Harry stated, smiling as he put a card alongside Ron's. "It was well worth the Galleons,"

"I'd say," Ron put a card on top of Harry's. "I'm going to ask them for one of these for Christmas,"

"I'll buy you one for your birthday,"

"Thanks, mate," he added another card. Smoke started to come from the small pile. "Here it comes," Ron said excitedly.

With a boom the entire pile exploded, sending the cards flying in every direction and smoke to come billowing from them as they scattered.

"Oy, Harry," Ron yelled. "That one's going to go into the fire," he pointed behind Harry to the card that was floating down dangerously close to the flames.

Harry turned behind him to grab the card before it could settle into the fire. "Ouch," he complained as it burned his skin. "Got it," Harry threw it back into the pile of cards Ron was collecting.

"What was that noise?" Hermione asked, running down from the girls' dormitories. "Are you guys playing Exploding Snap again?"

"Nope," Harry replied.

"Definitely not," Ron added.

"I saw that pile of cards explode, or are you going to tell me that that didn't happen either?"

"That happened," Ron said.

"Then what are you playing, if not Exploding Snap?" Hermione asked.

"Exploding Snape,"

**4.**

"Minerva," Professor Trelawney called to the Transfiguration Professor.

"Sybil," McGonagall smiled as she sat across the table from Trelawney in the Three Broomsticks. "I'm surprised that you came to Hogsmeade, you hardly ever leave your tower,"

"It is in the tea leaves," Sybil was nursing a glass of Firewhiskey and had three empty glasses lined up right next to her nearly full one.

"Pardon,"

"I was reading tea leaves, you know how I like to stay on top of what's going on at Hogwarts," she explained. "And I saw the future,"

"What's that?" McGonagall asked.

"I saw in the tea leaves that I would meet a handsome dark man here and that I would fall in love with him," she stated, giggling as she took another sip of her Firewhiskey. "I have found that ignoring the tea leaves can lead to die consequences,"

"It is getting late Sybil," McGonagall noticed, glancing out the window. "Maybe I should take you back to the castle, I don't think your dark man is going to show,"

"No," she insisted. "I will not leave until my dark man walks through that door," she drunkenly pointed to the entrance.

"Very well then," McGonagall gave in. "I am going to retire to Hogwarts," she rose from her chair.

"Wait, Minerva," Trelawney called out. "I forgot to ask you, how do I look?"

McGonagall paused, Trelawney looked a mess, her hair was unkempt and she looked as drunk as she acted. "Fine," she replied and walked out of the Three Broomsticks.

One and a half Firewhiskeys later Trelawney was beginning to believe what McGonagall had said, perhaps she had misread the tea leaves. It was unlikely, but it was possible. Suddenly she felt horrible, she had been so looking forward to falling in love.

Just as she had gotten up to leave, a man dressed entirely in black with long black hair walked through the door. Trelawney smiled, he certainly fit the profile of her dark man.

"Severus," she called out, running over to where he had entered. "Come sit with me," she ordered, draping her arm around his shoulders. "I'll buy you a drink,"

**5. **

"I have been learning how to fly for years now," Rudolphus Lestrange whispered in Severus's ear. "The only reason why I didn't skip was to see all of the pathetic little Gryffindors trying to fly,"

"Quiet Rudolphus," Madam Perkins, the flying teacher, ordered. "I'll have no interruptions in my class," she stated. "Now as I was saying before I was interrupted, I'm going to pair you up and one person is going to spot while the other flies. The flyer is going to rise just above their partner's heads then come down again," she walked between the two lines of students, Gryffindors in one and Slytherins in the other. "Let's have a demonstration pair, Snape," she searched the Gryffindor line for a partner.

"Hope she doesn't pair poor Severus with a mudblood," Rudolphus whispered to his neighbor.

"I heard that, Lestrange," Madam Perkins declared. "And that's going to get you detention and twenty points from Slytherin," the entire Slytherin line of students groaned. "I'll not have this type of prejudice among the students. Muggle-borns are just as good at magic, and in many cases better, than those with Wizarding blood. All right, Mister Snape you're going to be flying first, and Miss Evans you're going to spot him. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Madam Perkins," Lily replied while Severus remained silent.

"Severus, is that clear?"

"Yes, Madam Perkins," he mumbled in reply.

"Very good," she remarked cheerily and handed a broomstick to Severus. "You may begin,"

Severus stood alongside his broom and stuck out his hand. "Up," he ordered, having read books on how to fly prior to this lesson. The broom flew up and hit his hand with a loud 'smack'. "Ow," he complained, this earned him an amused look from Lily. He glared in response.

Carefully he walked over to his broom and attempted to mount it, just as he was nearly on the broom started to move jerkily from one direction to another. Severus struggled to try to mount the broom but was unable to because of its rapid motion. Everyone around him was laughing, Lily the loudest.

Severus looked around, because he was sure he hadn't done anything to make the broom go out of control like that. Sure enough he saw a boy mumbling a jinx on his broom under his breath. He was one of the Gryffindors and Severus remembered him from sorting. "James Potter," he whispered. "You'll pay for this,"


End file.
